How to Start Healing From Sexual Trauma
Takeaway: If you’re a trauma survivor, you know firsthand how deep the emotional pain can be. Thankfully, it is possible to heal–I’ve seen it firsthand in my work as Program Director for human trafficking survivors and now as a trauma therapist. Now, I want to bring my insight and provide tangible tips to help you start healing from your own sexual trauma.
Understanding the impact of sexual trauma
Sexual trauma, also called sexual violence, refers to any kind of unwanted sexual acts. It can look different from person to person, so while it can be helpful to find support from others, I encourage you to avoid comparison. What's traumatic to one person may not feel the same to another, and your experience is valid even if it doesn't look the same as someone else's.
Sexual trauma can also impact people in different ways. The effects can vary based on the age at which you experienced sexual trauma, your level of social support, your mental health history, and several other factors.
Here are some examples of how sexual trauma might be impacting your day-to-day life.
Nightmares
Flashbacks
Trouble sleeping
Difficulty concentrating
Chronic guilt or shame
Low self-esteem
Dissociation, or feeling detached from reality
Physical symptoms like chronic pain, stomach issues, and headaches
Substance abuse
Self-sabotaging
Difficulty with intimacy
Eating disorders
Panic attacks
Mental health conditions like post-traumatic stress disorder, borderline personality disorder, depression, or anxiety
Keep in mind that this isn't an exhaustive list. If you're experiencing other symptoms that aren't listed above, your pain is still very much real, and you deserve support in healing.
The role of therapy in healing sexual trauma
Just like your trauma is unique to you, the healing journey looks different from person to person. There is no "right" or "wrong" way to heal, though as a trauma therapist and fellow survivor, I encourage all survivors of sexual trauma to seek professional support.
Building a strong, trusting therapeutic relationship with a qualified mental health professional changed my own life. The heaviness of shame and trauma I carried for years, were finally lifted. This is the same type of empathy and support I make it a point to give each of my clients. This relationship can provide a container for safety and healing.
In addition to the power of the therapeutic relationship, the evidence-based strategies that therapists use can also help you process your experience, develop coping skills, and even change how your brain reacts to traumatic memories.
Common forms of trauma therapy include:
Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing Therapy (EMDR): In EMDR therapy, your therapist will help you tap into the mind-body connection to help you find deep, lasting healing. I love using EMDR to help my clients move forward! You can learn more about the 8 phases of EMDR here.
Cognitive Processing Therapy (CPT): CPT is another type of trauma therapy that I use in my practice. This approach involves writing about your traumatic experience to help us identify the thought and emotion patterns that keep you stuck.
Prolonged Exposure Therapy (PE): In PE, your therapist will gradually help you confront traumatic memories to decrease the overwhelming anxiety many survivors feel when confronted with a trigger, flashback, or other reminder of their trauma.
Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT): DBT therapists specialize in helping people learn emotional regulation skills, grow healthy relationships with others, and become more mindful of their thoughts, emotions, and needs.
Again, this isn't an all-inclusive list. There are other forms of therapy that can help sexual assault survivors heal, though these are some of the most common.
5 tips on how to heal from sexual trauma
While I recommend seeking therapy if you've experienced sexual abuse, there are some strategies that you can try at home to supplement your healing journey. Here are some of my favorite ones that I recommend to my therapy clients.
1. Learn more about trauma healing.
You're already doing this by reading this blog post! There are tons of other great trauma-healing resources out there as well, including books, podcasts, social media accounts, and more. Check out my YouTube video for my top recommendations for trauma recovery books that I recommend to my clients and use in my personal life as a trauma survivor myself.
2. Practice self-care.
Yes, self-care can look like candlelit bubble baths or fancy face masks. However, those are just a couple of small parts. Self-care also involves tending to your physical, emotional, and spiritual needs. It can also mean moving your body regularly, nourishing yourself with foods that make you feel good, setting emotional boundaries with others, cultivating a meditation practice, and so much more.
3. Tap into your social support.
No one should have to heal from sexual trauma on their own. Connecting with safe, supportive others is often an essential part of the recovery process. Perhaps you already have loved ones you can lean on, or maybe you'd like to expand your circle through trauma recovery support groups or even through group activities like art classes, adult sports leagues, or book clubs!
4. Express yourself.
Creative expression is another helpful tool in the healing process, and you don't need to be a talented artist or writer to reap the benefits. Let yourself have fun with new creative mediums, like painting, collage, sculpting with air-dry clay, making nature mandalas, or writing in your journal. And remember: it's about the act, not the outcome. I recently tried out ART therapy and found it so cathartic.
5. Engage in self-compassion.
Sexual trauma survivors often experience immense guilt and shame, especially if you're a survivor of child sexual abuse (read my blog post about PTSD, guilt, and shame here). While confronting this is easier said than done, cultivating self-compassion can help. Practice noticing your critical thoughts and gently try to redirect them. How would you respond to a friend who experienced something similar? Try to channel those kind words toward yourself.
A therapist's perspective on the journey to recovery
Sexual trauma isn’t just something that happens physically, it effects all of yourself. Experiencing sexual trauma can profoundly impact your emotional, spiritual, physical, and mental health. While it is entirely possible to heal, know that the journey isn't linear. It's normal to feel defeated, angry at the world, or even hopeless at times, but our feelings are there to tell us something.
In fact, embracing these emotions is an important part of the recovery journey. By accepting your feelings and your experience, you open up the potential for deep, transformational healing to take place.
A quick note here: acceptance doesn't mean condoning what happened. Rather, it's about owning your truth and making the conscious decision to move forward. At my therapy practice, Hopeful Heart Counseling, we're all about empowerment instead of staying stuck.
Through my own recovery journey as a trauma survivor and through helping my therapy clients find healing, I've come to understand that while each person's experience is unique, there are several common components to the healing process. Check out my blog post on the stages of trauma recovery for more insight. And if you're located in Florida and are interested in therapy, connect with me to get started.
More resources for sexual trauma healing
These resources can give you even more support during your recovery journey.
National Sexual Assault Hotline: 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)
CARE (for Florida residents)
While these resources aren't a replacement for therapy, they can still be a helpful part of your healing.
We're here to help you build hope for a brighter future.
My therapy practice specializes in helping trauma survivors heal. While I'm based out of the greater Tampa Bay area, I offer online therapy for people throughout the state of Florida. Whether you're just beginning your recovery journey or feel ready to try something new, I'm here to help.
